Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Not into blogging but....

To blog takes so much energy out of me right now. I feel like I need reserve every ounce I have for the children. However, today is a special day where I need to blog.

Today is my dad's 56th birthday. I am so grateful that God hand picked him to be my father for the past 31 1/2 years. My dad has always done so much for his family. I can think of millions of things he has done for me, his second eldest daughter. Something he did for me that has had a lasting impact was when I had my miscarriage a year ago. I called Bethany balling and couldn't breath I was crying so hard. Jason was unable to get home quickly, so Bethany called my dad. Within minutes he knocked on my door. When I opened it for him to come in, he just held me and said, "Honey,I don't understand but I know that He gives and takes away" His simple jester of a hug and simple statement of encouragement brought such peace. I will never forget my dad staying with me that day til someone could come and take care of me. He just sat on the floor with Blake and played with him and was such a calming presence that day.

I love remembering the last day I was teaching before I had Blake. There was a knock on my classroom door. I opened it up and there was my dad standing at the door with flowers and he says, " I thought your last day of teaching would be hard for you so I brought you some flowers to brighten your day" He was so thoughtful and encouraging once again.

Honestly, I could go on and on about how my dad has been such an influential man in my life and constantly gave to me in many ways. On his birthday today I pray his gift would be peace and hope during this time. That somehow the Holy Spirit would give him a hope that he can and will make it through this hard trial. Praying he can tangibly feel God's presence in his room!!!! Happy Birthday to an amazing father!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Still waiting

Dad is still sick and has been at Northwestern for ten days now....several of those spent in ICU to regulate his blood pressure. This is has been going on now for two months not knowing "exactly" what dad has. Dr goes back and forth glioma not glioma. Poor dad has been pricked and poked so many times with ct scans and blood tests up the wazoo. I am getting very anxious and weary in waiting for them to find a definite diagnosis and then a plan of action in how to make him better. In talking to someone yesterday, I realize that God knows....he knows exactly what my dad has and the exact remedy to make him better. I have been having a hard time that in an instant God can reveal to the dr what has been giving my dad trouble the past two months, yet God has not chosen to do so. God can also, like in the Bible heal someone in just a snap of a finger, yet he hasn't chosen to do so. I have to in what I have been raised to know and what I have also been seen to be true in my own life, trust beyond my understanding. That right now is the biggest battle I am facing. I do know, like in the past, the Lord will not let me down. Whatever the outcome may be, he has during this trial shown us blessings along this hard journey.