So nice yet so sad

I went to see a hematologist yesterday to discuss my blood clots. The dr. I went to go see is a hematologist but also a cancer dr. He was so nice and patient with me and all my questions. We talked for at least a half hour. He even took time to tell me a personal story that happened when he was working with one of his patients. It was sad though....when I walked to use the restroom, there were cancer patients getting treatment....they were all lined up and hooked up to a machine. It broke my heart! A part of me wanted to sit and talk with them, just be a friend to them....and then a part of me wanted to turn my head and not even look because it broke my heart so much.

Needless to say my appointment went well. They are doing more blood work to determine if my blood clots were genetic or caused by my c-section. I have been wondering that question for over two years now, I am so excited to finally get results! The good news is he looked at my lump in my throat and he also said it's not a concern to him. So he is the third dr. to say that! Praise the Lord!

Little one

I don't know what's going on...maybe it's part of turning two..not sure.

You aren't napping. You are exhausted and you start to fall asleep in my arms but then when I put you down in your crib you scream! Scream for an hour or more (of course I go in and sooth every 5/10/15 min.) At bed time you are also doing the same thing. My heart hurts for you because I know you need the nap and will not do so. You have also started to twitch and jerk in your sleep. When I called the dr. to ask questions about it, they said not to worry. Of course as your mother, I have already cried over it and prayed over you about it.

I can only hope this is a few day stage thing for you and you snap out of it and begin to sleep soundly, peacefully, and long.

When praying for family today.....

This song came to my mind:

The blood that Jesus shed for me,
'Way back on Calvary;
The blood that gives me strength from day to day,
It will never lose its power.


It reaches to the highest mountain,
It flows to the lowest valley,
The blood that gives me strength form day to day,
It will never lose its power.

It soothes my doubts and calms my fears,
And it dries all my tears;
The blood that gives me strength from day to day,
It will never lose its power.

The Blood that gives : hope, healing, strength, joy, may it be ours today in each situation we face!

Revisit

I revisited my old journals from college and really enjoyed reading my thoughts on life. Even though I had my struggles during that time, I was so close to the Lord then. I am grateful I have kept those journals and am able to review them from time to time.

Something I reviewed recently was an issue with my health. In 2002 I had a lump in my throat and I ended up having x-ray and an ultrasound done on. From that report, the referred me to a specialist who then decided not to operate on the lump. In the past month or so, I had noticed the lump and grew concerned about it once again. I couldn't remember what the dr. said about the lump back in 2002, but thankfully I had my journal to review it. Dr. Altimari had looked at my throat and decided not to operate on it and told me that lump will always be apart of me from now on. Nothing to worry about, but will always be there.

With Jason and I wanting and thinking about trying for another baby sometime this year, I really would like to have a clean bill of health. I decided to go to my current dr. (westerholm) and have them recheck the lump in my throat. My dr. today told me not to worry about the lump and that it will always be in my throat. I was relieved to not have to worry about something that had consumed my mind the past two months. In addition to my dr. looking at my throat, she also began to talk to me about my blood clots from my pregnancy with Blake. She said based on my blood work done in 2008, most likely my blood clot was caused by my c-section, not a disorder that I have. She then refereed me to a hematologist who will talk to me about what to do with the fact of having a history of blood clots. Having had blood clots in the lungs is much more serious than having them in the legs.....so the dr. wanted to take precaution on that whole issue.

I am thankful that God took care of me today. I had prayed prior to the appointment that the dr. wouldn't want me to get another ultrasound or x-ray of my throat to look at the lump. She didn't request that at all during my appointment. She did request blood work to check out my blood count, kidney, liver, thyroid, and iron. But she said she is not thinking she will find anything alarming in those results.

As I opened my Bible today, I read

Psalms 12:5-6
But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation I will sing to the Lord for he has been good to me!

God is good, Yes...he is good ALL the time!

Leaning on this:

Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know "Thus saith the Lord"


Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I've proved Himo'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
Just in simple faith to plunge me
"Neath the healing, cleansing flood!


Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.


I'm so glad I learned to trust Him,
Precious Jesus, saviour, friend;
And I know that He is with me,
Will be with me to the end.

Learning once again.......

to put into practice all I have been taught about the Lord. My trust, my strength, and my peace have to come from him!

My thoughts on my blog

I have been so consumed with thoughts of President Obama lately. I know when he was elected he promised "change" Change is fine with me, however I feel like what he is changing is so drastic. From health care to now nuclear treaty arms....to abortions and gays. I feel like as a conservative I am a minority. What I believe based on my faith and the Bible doesn't matter anymore. It's hard to find those in this world who believe what I believe. I honestly do feel like an alien as it says in the Bible.

There is just something about Obama that makes me feel uneasy and brings alot of concern. It's hard for me honestly not to cringe when I see him on the news. I have to do what the Bible calls me to do and that is pray for my leader. I am however extremely grateful that the true leader in this world is Christ and the leader of my life and family is Jesus. I can choose him to lead safely, securely, and peacefully! Oh the joys of knowing Jesus!!!!!

On purpose

Little one.....
When I am laying on the floor playing with you, you will grab my face with your little chubby hands and then turn my cheek to your lips and give me a big kiss! When you do that, I jerk up and scream and you just laugh and laugh. I do it over and over just to get some extra kisses and hugs from you. I love our little games we play.