glad it's me and not him...still no fun

Okay, when am I going to be done going to the doctor with health issues? It's so frustrating. I had to go to the ER on Wednesday for difficulty of breathing. Then I had a follow up with my doctor today. My doctor ordered an ultrasound of my heart and a breathing test to check out my lungs. I don't get it...I just want to be done with the health stuff. But...yes...I am thrilled it is me going through all the health issues and not my precious boy Blake...who by the way now scoots himself down in this crib.

Question::::::: How do you forgive someone when they don't know that they have hurt you? Can you forgive someone without talking to them about what situation has occured?

smile among tears

I had a rough day yesterday (Tuesday) and I was very frustrated and at my ends. I was loading Blake up in his car seat and as I was doing so I was crying. I looked at Blake with tears down my cheeks and as I was looking at him he smiled such a big smile as if to say...mommy it's going to be okay. It brought my sadness to a smile. It reminds me of how Jesus looks at me when I am sad...he looks at me and smiles as if to say....I love you Sharon, don't worry, it's going to be okay!

Lord, Thanks for the gentle reminder that amidst my worries in life and amidst my fears and doubts you look at me with love and smile upon me letting me know you are in control and everything will work out!

OH my!

What a busy Saturday. We left for Pekin ( 2 1/2 hour) drive at 7:30...got there at 9:45 changed and left for pictures at 10:15....got to my sister in laws house at 12:45 and then left again to run to lunch and walmart and got home at 2:50 and left again at 3:20 to go to Chucky Cheese and went back to my sister in laws how to celebrate mom's day with my mom in law at 6:30 and stayed there to 7:45. We left to come back to our house at 7:45. Blake did a great job being gone all day long and having so much activity going on. The bad thing is today he was SUPER tired and fussy. He didn't sleep much and was fighting off his tiredness.

I have to figure something out when we go to Pekin how to keep his nap on schedule yet let him see everyone...any suggestions?

Note to self

This blog is not only to keep people updated, but also a journal for myself and for me to remember things. Since last week (Blake being 7 weeks) we started to have him eat, play, then sleep. Since he has been doing that he has eaten at 10:30 (ish) at night and then waking up at 2:30 (ish) to eat again, and then 6:30 (ish) to eat again. We do that throughout the day as much as possible. It's hard to stay on this routine when I have friends I am meeting with or places I need to be at. I hope this continues to work because when he stays on this routine I get about 5 1/2 sometimes if it's a really good night I get 6 hours of sleep. I am anxious to see how long he will do this for dadyy and me. Also yesterday with his play Elmo gym he kicked his feet high enough to hit the dangling toys...too cute!

I am for sure enjoying being a mom when he is sleeping more and interacting with me more. He is like a human now...he smiles, coos, somewhat laughs, and is aware of more of his souroundings!

Wed. we go to get his first shots...yikes...I have to go by myself and it will not be fun for me to see him cry!

Baby Blake

Well yesterday we took Blake to the pediatric neurologist. We waited 35 minutes to see the doctor. I think when you have a newborn and you are waiting to see the doctor...the wait should be very minimal. I timed his feeding to the time of his appointment so that he wouldn't be hungry till we got home. That didn't work because we waited so long for the doctor to come in. Anyways, the doctor looked at Blake and Blake gave him the biggest smile....the doc laughed. Well he said that Blake has a mild case of a big long word that I can't remember. It was something he was born with. He said it is mild so that is a good thing, but sometimes with this thing Blake has there can be some heart issues or issues with the kidney. He listened to Blake's heart and it sounded good..he then said we need to get an ultrasound of his kidney to check those out. So we do that the day after memorial day. Thank you everyone for your prayers....this is a choppy update because Blake is crying and I need to attend to him....

First Mom's Day

I had my first mother's day. I woke up fed Blake, got him dressed for church, took at 5 min. shower, got myself ready, packed the diaper bag, received a card and gift from Blake and out the door we went to church. It was fun to sit by my mom,dad, and siblings in church. Blake did well, my dad held him as he stared quietly and contently at the lights above him. Later that day we went to my mom and dad's house for lunch. I considered the next day real mother's day. Jason took Blake for me while I went and worked out and did some errands. That was a true treat, and he even watched him when I got home. We took a walk later that night and then I went to bed.

Blake is now more awake and is cooing a lot more. While he is in his swing he looks at the mobile and smiles at it. He lifts his head and still hates being on his tummy.

Tomorrow I go to school to visit my students. I told the principal that I would not be returning to school next year. That was very hard for me to do, but I know it's the best thing for Blake and myself. I would miss Blake too much if I went back to teaching.

Nice

It is nice to have family live by me and to watch Blake when we need it. Last night, my sister and her soon to be hubby came over to watch Blake. Jason and I ran to the outlet mall and then to workout together. I miss those times of when Jason and I would work out together. Especailly right before our trip to Mexico! As I was working out though, I missed Blake and couldn't wait to hold him. Janna and JP did a great job with Blake. We got home adn he was fed, changed, and sleeping! THis weekend we have a wedding, so my parents will watch Blake Friday night and Janna and JP again on Saturday night. I was listening to the radio and it was saying how to go on a date would cost so much $. YOu would have to pay a sitter like $10 an hour at least. It's nice to have free babysitting with lots of love and attention from family. Blake is truly blessed.

*** Side note**** As I was cleaning the house, I told Jason I wanted him and I to do something every Wednesday. I wanted a set day during the week because then it would get done for sure...I want us to have appreciation Wednesday. We would write a note or give a card and tell the other person what we appreciated about them the in the past week. Life seems so busy with a baby, Jason working ALL the time, and me being exhusted when he gets home...I think this will be good to set aside time and sit on the couch and read what the other one wrote. Can't wait for next Wednesday!

6 weeks

Today Blake is 6 weeks old. I am so amazed at how much he has changed! He is much chubbier and more alert. He likes to be read to and when he is read to, his little feet kick. When he is fussy I put him in his swing and often he will fall asleep in there. When he is in his swing, he looks up at the mobile now. He has slept in his own crib since he was 2 1/2 weeks old. He was put on his first medicine on Thursday because he has acid reflux. I love Blake more and more everday and each time he smiles my heart just says ahhhh how precious is this boy!

I started to go to the gym yesterday. I was given the clear to work out. I have been so anxious to get back there. I the last time I worked out was in July because I wasn't allowed to by the doctors. I am now trying to figure out a time when I can go at least 4 times a week. It's hard to do when Jason works and the baby needs to be fed. I hope to figure something out in the near future. I have to loose this baby weight in 2 months...not much time for me...

One thing I wish for...

I wish my husband didn't have to work every on Saturday and could have more time for fun, play, and rest.