5 hours ago
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Never Did I Think
Never did I think I would be sad when this day would come. I thought I would be rejoicing and celebrating by having spicy foods and drinking regular coffee. I do have to say that as I realized this day was approaching, my heart filled with sadness.
Today, is the day that I have stopped nursing. It's just shy of 10 1/2 months that I have nursed Blake. At the beginning I wanted to quit so bad. Jason encouraged me to keep going and friends would often say that it gets better. After one infection and bleeding while nursing, I was sure that I was going to be done at 3 months. Not a day longer. Time passed, and everyone was right, nursing got to be easy and Blake was such a fast nurser that it just became so natural and a time where Blake and I bonded.
As Blake has gotten older and has become more active, my time that he allows me to cuddle and hold him has dwindled. I looked forward to when it would be time to nurse because that meant I got to snuggle him for a few minutes.
I had to be put on some medication today that does not allow me to nurse. I had decided that since I was just nursing twice a day, it would be fine to totally stop all together. I made sure before I started the medicine, I had one last time to nurse Blake. As I nestled him into my arms, I stroked his face and soaked in the moment.
If I am this emotional about ending my time of nursing Blake...golly how will I be for his first day of kindergarten???!!!