Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Never Did I Think




Never did I think I would be sad when this day would come. I thought I would be rejoicing and celebrating by having spicy foods and drinking regular coffee. I do have to say that as I realized this day was approaching, my heart filled with sadness.

Today, is the day that I have stopped nursing. It's just shy of 10 1/2 months that I have nursed Blake. At the beginning I wanted to quit so bad. Jason encouraged me to keep going and friends would often say that it gets better. After one infection and bleeding while nursing, I was sure that I was going to be done at 3 months. Not a day longer. Time passed, and everyone was right, nursing got to be easy and Blake was such a fast nurser that it just became so natural and a time where Blake and I bonded.

As Blake has gotten older and has become more active, my time that he allows me to cuddle and hold him has dwindled. I looked forward to when it would be time to nurse because that meant I got to snuggle him for a few minutes.

I had to be put on some medication today that does not allow me to nurse. I had decided that since I was just nursing twice a day, it would be fine to totally stop all together. I made sure before I started the medicine, I had one last time to nurse Blake. As I nestled him into my arms, I stroked his face and soaked in the moment.

If I am this emotional about ending my time of nursing Blake...golly how will I be for his first day of kindergarten???!!!

7 comments:

Megan said...

Awe. You are such a great momma. I'm sure you will find other moments to snuggle with Blake. Maybe he will miss you since he won't get those special moments and just want to snuggle. We can always pray for that.
Plus I am sure blake will love more table food. ;}

Joan said...

I know you read to him and I found that was the best time to do some snuggling. Howevere, I remember when Brian was a little older (5 maybe) and wanted to sit on my lap while we read a story, I so looked forward to that time, but he had gotten so heavy that I had to ask him to sit next to me. It just wasn't the same after that and I really missed the cuddle time.

kdana said...

ohhh, you poor thing! glad that in the end the experience overall during the past 10 1/2 months was so rewarding for you and that you were able to truly appreciate it to the fullest. Sad for you that it had to end!

Cara said...

Aw sharon, that IS sad and I think I would have reacted the same way. Blake is a big boy now and I am glad you were able to nurse as long as you did!

Bethany Patrice said...

break out the cabbage leaves!

Judith and Lance said...

Oh Sharon -- this made me cry b/c I felt the EXACT same way when I was done nursing Bella. I am so sorry you are feeling sad. I try to savor every sweet, nursing moment with Lyla b/c I know these next 8 months will fly by.

mscottberg said...

definitely a bittersweet time when these little babies start getting more independent! great job sticking with it as long as you did!