Currently

Currently as I type this, Blake is having one of his moments. What I mean by that is he is having a melt down and is refusing to clean up his toys. He is in timeout and is not allowed to have mommy hold him or have bear. He has been throwing his tantrum for twenty min now.

Everything in me wants to snuggle that boy, hold him, kiss him, and clean up the toys for him. It pains me to have to see him so upset and screaming so loud.

I however have a responsibility to follow Proverbs 22:6 "train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it"

Picking up the toys for him or holding him right now wouldn't be the best way to train him.

I can't wait for him to follow the rules so that I can actually hold him and love on him...come on little one...what a reward when you pick up the toys...more snuggle time with mom!

Yepo...yepo

Well...we had the OB appointment today. I went in and they put the external ultrasound on my belly and she said, "I see one hearbeat for sure." Then she was quiet and she said, " I think I see two"

She decided to do an internal ultrasound to get a better picture, and sure enough...she saw two beating heartbeats in the 130s and confirmed twins.

Jason and I are shocked and overwhelemd. We feel blessed God would see us fit to be parents to three children.

I called my mom first = cried
Called my dad next = I cried, he talked to Jason, he said it's going to be okay and we will stand by you through this
Bethany = screamed and so excited
Then texted Kimberly, Kelly, Judith, Julie, and Janna.....they are all happy for us and Janna was shocked too.

Everyone is happy, everyone is excited, everyone is so eager to help, and everyone is wondering if one will be a girl.

So let the crazy, exciting, journey begin!

ps- last night I had a dream I had twins...sure enough today..boom yepo..yepo...I am a mother of mulitples!

Sharing

I am trying to teach Blake to share. We do at least one playdate a week in which he is given plenty of opportunities to learn how to share his toys with his friends.

This morning, I was preparing him for the kids that were about to come over. I was telling him that when his friends get here we don't take toys out of their hands and we don't yell "MINE"

I then began to tell the story of the little boy in the Bible who shared his lunch with those who didn't have any. I told him it made Jesus so happy that the little boy shared. I went on to say how Jesus wants Blake to share too. My little boy looked at me with both of his palms up and says, "where Jesus mommy?" I told him in heaven and next to him....her precedes to say, "but where he go?"

I love that boy! I can only hope he can know where Jesus is at a very young age!

Rough one

It's been a rough two weeks here. Potty training Blake has consumed me. He's done pretty well, but I can't ever be lazy about it. It's very intentional on my part. Timing the last time he went, watching for signs he is about to go, and then trying to entertain and keep him excited to go on the potty.

On top of it, he has been waking up at 7:00 and only taking about an hour nap. That means I am unable to do my morning chores and get ready before he awakens and I have just enough time to read my bible, straighten the house, and eat a snack before he wakes up from his nap.

As a result of being drained with potty training (which is so worth it to me) and him not sleeping much, I have been on edge with him. I have realized that my patience level has been very slim. I go to bed at night wishing I would have handled situations better. My temper, fatigue, frustration has definitely won instead of my peace, patience, and understanding.

I have decided I need to be more at ease and never get tired of doing good...never get tired of doing the right thing when dealing with Blake.

I have come to realize to be a good parent takes lots of work and energy. It would be easy for me to let things go and not stay on top of discipline. I however have a responsibility to God to raise Blake with morals, to love the Lord, and do honor and respect those in his life.

I will do what I can and offer myself daily as a vessel to be used by God to mold and shape my child....what a CALLING that is!

Round 1 for number 3 (written in Sept.)

First appointment today for the little one came on the 3rd month anniversary of when we lost our 2nd child. It was hard and I became a bit teary eyed as we discussed our action plan for this pregnancy.

We decided to go ahead and take some blood to see where my levels are. It's critical to have good progesterone levels. The Dr. then said that we would go ahead and test again on Thursday. Hoping to get results Friday that they have doubled. If all goes well, then Sept. 28th we will do an ultrasound for a heartbeat. If a heartbeat is detected then the chance for miscarriage goes down to 3-4%.

Praying my levels go up, praying I get a heartbeat on Sept. 28th. I get nervous about every little thing. Should I feel this, why am I not feeling this? It's a battle I fight mentally and a battle I fight in prayer.

And the due date for this little one is May 10, 2011....crazy it's the day I miscarried our 2nd child.