Here he is

Here is a picture of my little boy Blake. I have many more, but I thought I would quickly post so you could see him.

Our Saturday

My last baby picture before the little one arrives....taken on Friday, March 21st.
Well, Saturday was spent doing laundry, cleaning carpet, organizing drawers, cleaning the house, putting the carseat into the car, and then ended with going to church and out to eat with my parents. I know Jason didn't rest AT ALL on Saturday...he was a working machine. He would have loved to have come home from church and rested with basketball on TV, but instead he turned to me in Church and said hey, let's take your parents to dinner. He was so thoughtful in doing so. The day before the little one arrives, we are going to rest this morning, maybe run to Walmart and then go over to my mom and dad's house to celebrate Easter. I hope I am able to sleep tonight. I figure I have to get up at 3:45 to shave, shower, and finishing packing so I can be at the hospital by 5:00 tomorrow morning. Yikes...this is crazy!

HUGH!

The baby is coming on Monday, and I am just not feeling how I think I should feel. There is stress in getting ready for the little one to arrive and there are things that are just now being discussed that should have been discussed long before the baby was coming. I thought that Jason and I would be enjoying quality time together before the baby came, but it's not happening either. He is working later and the chores around the house are taking priority in preparing for Monday. There is so much happening right now....I just hope the day my baby is born I can enjoy it and the disagreements, stress, and frustration that I am feeling won't even be an issue.

Update and baby's birthdate

My last day of school was craziness...we had a field trip to CiCi's pizza. We then had a mom come and teach the class about banks for about 45 min. Then the day ended with a baby shower for me. A student's mom made the cake. It was adorable and yummy too. A teacher made the sign for my baby...Jason adn I hung it in the garage...I love pulling into the garage and reading that my precious baby is God's masterpiece!It was a fun filled exhausting day. 12 parents came to the baby shower for me and the students just had a blast. On my last day of school, my dad came to school and surprised me with flowers. He said he knew that it was my last day I would have a hard time so he wanted to see me. So sweet of him. Jason then took me to dinner to Biaggies so celebrate. I cried when I pulled up to the school in the morning realizing I as done teaching for the year. The day at school ended with my team coming in my room and we visited a little and took pictures together. It was a wonderful last day of school.

On Saturday, March 15th, my dad came over and helped get the house ready for the baby. Jason and my dad worked hard for about two hours putting together the swing, pack and play, blinds, changing table, and finishing up the third bedroom. It was so fun!

On Monday, March 17th my first day off of teaching, I woke up at around 6:30 had waffles. I talked on the phone, did some laundry, and ran some errands. I even dosed off for a half hour.

Today, Tuesday March 18th I went to the doctor. I had an ultrasound which Janna was able to be at and the baby was shown to be breech still. The doctor came in and said that baby weighs around 7 lbs 12 oz. We scheduled a c-section for March 24th...my baby's birthday. She talked about a c-section for awhile and answered some questions. She left the room and I began to cry. Jason wanted to hold me, but I didn't want to cry anymore. I don't know why I had those tears, and they kept coming down for awhile...but I just cried. In six days I am going to be a mother of a boy or girl....it's such a responsibility. Jason and I went to dinner and got stuff from Babies R Us. Everything is coming together and needs to come together as the little one is coming very soon!

Mixed

It's crazy it's my last day of teacing for awhile. I can't really explain what I feel. I feel too many things right now to try and sort out. I am glad that I taught almost four years (2.5 months shy of exactly 4 years) before I had my first child. I just hope I love my job as a mother just as much as I love my job as a teacher.

Talent

Today at school, my students did a talent show. We had three girls write a skit, act it out, and do a dance in the middle of it. I had a boy who did magic tricks. Two boys who did some art and shared it with the class. A group of students who did a human video. There was also some kids who reenacted the Good Samaritan from the Bible. It was so much fun to watch these kids do their talent. They smiled, laughed, and really enjoyed one another's performances. I usually do the talent show at the end of the year, but decided to do it today since I will not be here for the end of the year.

Today the teachers had a luncheon for me. I have felt so blessed and supported by the staff at CCS. Their words of encouragement and listening ears has really been amazing.

Ahhh two days left....I am feeling so many emotions. It's hard to leave somewhere that is perfect. Why leave when something is going so well? I told my students that when I am gone I will really be thinking about them....especially next week when I am home and no baby yet. I am glad I just took about a week off before the little one is due....I don't know what I would do with myself if I had taken more time off of work.

Two and two go together

To you and others a c section may not be such a big deal. I don't like hospitals, needles, or being without my husband for a major surgery.

I was telling a friend at work yesterday how I am becoming more anxious about a c- section as it becomes more of a reality. I proceeded to tell her that I don't like the fact that Jason has to leave me during the procedure and how I think I will be a mess without him there. She began to tell me that Jesus will be in the room with you. She goes honestly, how cool would that be if you could feel the presence of Jesus in that room with you? I began to think about it,and if the presence of Jesus was in that room with me, I would have complete peace, no fear, and be confident in all the that the doctors are doing.

As I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to CandC music factory...and then I decided to turn on the Christian radio station. I had never heard this song before, but the words went like this:
"I am in better hands now, you are with me. The breath of God is in this room." After I had heard those words in that song, I was reminded of what my friend said at work, and know that very well God's presence can be in that room during a c-section and I can feel his touch and his breath upon me, my child, and the doctors as the perform the operation. If Jason can't be in the room with me as the sew me back together....what better person than to have the Lord with me.

I was encouraged this morning and pray it continues as time comes closer.

Okay

I went to the doctor today. My appointment lasted maybe 10 minutes. I was in and out so quickly. They checked the heart rate and still in the 150's. The baby is breech, so next time I go to the doctor they will do an ultrasound to check the position of the baby and will schedule my c-section.

As I think about the c-section, the one thing that I am not okay with is that Jason leaves me after the baby is born and during that time they will sew me back together. Jason is also not in the pre op. room as the prep me for the c-section. The whole c-section is said to take only 10 minutes. The recovery and sewing me back up takes about 50 minutes. I told Jason this morning....it's going to be nice for him in ten minutes he has a baby to hold and he gets to leave with it.

Well, we had our "Great Expectation" class on Saturday. We did an all day session
9-4. Man was it long! It was very informative, but I do not think it was worth $98. I did enjoy myself and enjoyed being with Jason. We had some great laughs during the class.

Wide eyed...

I was watching hockey with my nephew Parker, by his request. He was sitting on the couch totally into the hockey game and I was in a lazy boy reading a magazine half watching the game. Suddenly a fight broke out and I covered my face with the magazine...I look at Parker and he is even more into the game now. He looks at me and I told him, " Shar Shar doesn't like fighting. Do you?" Parker answers with wide eyes, " Yes...I like it!". I realized hmmm okay this is a boy and if I have a boy I have to allow them to be into fighting and wrestling even more so...I have to be okay with it. Well...if I have a boy the Lord will have to make me more of a tomboy and more lax with fighting.

Jason and I were talking yesterday morning and I told him if we have a boy, I want to dress him like Carlton on Fresh Prince...he goes ahhh no! I want a preppy cute gentle boy. I know Jason wants a rough, strong, athletic boy. Anyways...the Lord knows already what type of child we will have. I have seen it where there are preppy families but then the child chooses to be a skater or goth. I wonder does it matter how we raise the child in the home will it effect how they dress or what st lye they will have when they are older?

Do I have to

Well yesterday I had the teacher who will be taking over my class come in and observe all day. It was hard for me to realize that she is taking my class for the rest of the year. I know she will do a great job because she has taught at a Christian school for many years before this. I just don't like the fact that I have to hand over my class to someone so quickly. I invested in the kids, trained this kids, love these kids, and now just have to hand them to someone else.

Out stroller came yesterday, Jason put it together. I like it...I think it will suite us well.

I have been really tired and really super edgy! I just am dealing with a lot of emotion and feelings as the baby is coming very soon.

I don't want to leave my staff of teachers either. I love the staff and parents I work with, it's hard to leave something that is so wonderful!

Alrighty Then

I had my weekly doctor's appointment today. I gained a pound and the baby's heart rate was in the 140's. I tested positive for the strep B. I asked my doctor if that meant if I was dirty, and he said no....40% of women have this bacteria in their system. So I will be given some sort of antibiotic before the baby is born to help fight this bacteria.

I had felt this hard lump in my upper stomach above my belly button and asked the doctor what it was. He told me it was the head and that my baby is still breech. I then preceded to ask what is the percentage that my baby would turn in the next couple weeks. Since I have been breech for awhile, he said less than 10% likely that the baby will turn.

I am okay with what is going on. I talked to Lana for an almost an hour today about what to expect with a c-section. I appreciated her honesty with how she felt and how nervous she was. I hope to gain more information about a c-section so I will not go into it blindly.

At a point

I am 36 weeks and am at a point now where my shirts don't fit anymore. I had smalls and x-smalls through my pregnancy and now they are not fitting. My pants are smalls and x-smalls and now they are sliding down and showing the band when I wear my shirts. I have bought a couple more shirts to help last through the next month or so. I have been shopping for nursing things and pj's. I think something that will be hard will be knowing what to wear and what will fit after the baby is born. That won't matter as the little life I will be holding and loving.

Jason and I have enjoyed our time together. All though we have been not seeing one another as much during the weekend and week. He's been working later and we have things going on individually during the weekend lately.

He is looking forward to the birth and being the main support and encouragement for when the baby is born. I told him last night, that if he wants to go home at all while I am in the hospital, that would be okay with me. He could shower, shave, relax a little. I told him someone else can stay with me during that time. He said he doesn't want to leave me or the baby. I thought that was nice of him.

Easter is coming and it's a tough subject. Not sure what we will do for Easter this year.

I am getting more anxious for my March 18th appointment where they will do one last ultrasound to check the position of the baby. I haven't felt like it's turned at all. So we'll see. I have been reading about C-sections and I am a little leary of those too. I just keep saying in two months we will have a baby and be home with our little one. Delivery will be over and we will be a family at home in two months!

****side note...I want to eat more sweets now more than I did earlier in my pregnancy