Family

What a great Christmas with the family! I am so blessed!

Christmas

We had a great Christmas with four days straight of celebrating! More pics to come!

Last get away

One of the gifts my husband got me was a night at the Herrington in Geneva and then a pregnancy massage. It is only like 25-30 mintues away, my friend worked at the resturant that is associated with the Herrington and said that the Herrigton Inn and Spa is very quaint and romantic. I cannot wait! I am very excited to get pregnancy massage as my body is achy and retaining more water.....however.......I am most excited about getting away with my husband, it will be the last get away before the baby is born. My husband was so thoughtful and kind to think of doing this little trip.

28 years old

Well today I turned 28....I am married, pregnant, and gained 25 pounds since my last birthday. I love my husband, baby, and family. 27 was a great year for me....I can only hope that 28 will be just as awesome.

Just feelings

These are just feelings, hopefully they will go away cause they are just my feelings:

I am very frustrated, upset, and hurt. I haven't cried as much as I have cried this week than I have in a long time. Some may say its hormones...I am wishing I could blame it on that, but I can't blame it on pregnancy.

I hope I can look past circumstances and feel something different in the days to come.

Baby Bedding

This is the bedding I have picked out for the precious baby in my belly. We ordered it on Dec. 9th and it won't come for 8 weeks...yikes! But I wanted something neutral without having yellows, ABC's, animals, exec.

I Don't Wanna

I really do enjoy teaching and being a teacher...It's so much fun! It's an amazing job that I feel honored to have.

I just don't wanna go to work though. I am so tired....so worn out...so many things to do...that I don't wanna go to work.

I know I have two weeks off of school after Friday, but it would be nice to have a day off work prior to Christmas so that I can clean and get grocery shopping done.

Oh well....I keep trying to savor the moments I have left with my students. Only about 50 days left after Christmas break and I know I am going to miss them and teaching in general.

Goal

A friend of mine has just a four month old baby. She mentioned in one of her blogs that she reads Scripture to the baby each night. I have a goal...I want to read Scripture to the baby every night, but from this passage in 1 Kings 3:7.

"Now, O Lord my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people to numerous to count or number. So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong." The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. So God said "Since you have asked for this and not wealth and long life, nor have asked for death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice. I will do what you have asked and give you a wise and discerning heart.....Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for both riches and honor.

I love how Solomon was a young boy who had his priorities straight. He didn't want material things, he asked for wisdom and discerning heart. He was given much at a young age and the Lord trusted him to be a leader.

1 Kings 4: 29
God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight.

Joshua 1:7
Be careful to obey all the laws Moses has given you; do not turn from it to the right or the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. (9) Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

I want this precious baby to keep God's laws in his heart and to follow his path and like it says to be successful wherever it goes. That this life in me would be strong, courageous, and not have any fear in whatever life brings him/her.

I hope I can keep this up to read this to the baby everyday. It's great to read it stories and rhymes, but how much better is it to read it scripture and pray for these things that I am reading.

Thoughtfulness

Yesterday my class celebrated my birthday. Usually we celebrate my birthday during the Christmas party, but my room moms (which are wonderful this year) wanted to celebrate separate from the Christmas party. They brought in a cake, had a game planned: 28 things about a girl on her 28th Birthday, a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and a very nice gift. I was so touched by the fact that they wanted to do my birthday separate from the class party. The kids were so excited. During the day they were asking me, "Mrs. Sidell, are you excited to have your party this afternoon?" or "Mrs. Sidell, will you wear the birthday hat during the party?" It was so sweet.

During the party, a few moms came in to say Happy Birthday. I loved it because we were able to talk about life, changes of being a mom, and just have an adult conversation apart from school and work. It was wonderful!

After the party, I went up to the room mom who did most of the work for my birthday, and told her how much I appreciated her doing this for me. She said that she knows I probably won't return next year and really wanted me to have something special. I was so blessed by her sincerity of giving and thoughtfulness.

I am sad because I know that I will miss these times...not the gifts, but interacting with adults and seeing the students get so excited.

So exhusted

I am so tired. I went out some friends last night and got hom at 10:30. Woke up this morning and went grocery shopping was home by 9am. I made some cookies for Christmas...and now I just want to go to bed. Laundry needs to be done, cleaning needs to be done, and spending time with my husband needs to be done. I just want to curl up on my bed and sleep. Honestly, I normally don't take naps...I will rest on the couch, but will not sleep.....today I think I want to sleep!

Little one

So this morning at 4:40, the baby moved 20 times in the matter of 7 mintues. What in the world? It has moved every morning between 4:30-5:45. I guess that's when it's most awake????? Anyways....

I celebrated St. Lucia day with my parents, jason, rich, and papa. My mom made yummy homemade swedish meatballs and noodles. It was soo good! Then I served a peppermint choc. cake my mom made to everyone with a wreath on my head! Jason thought I looked cute...I thought...hmmm interesting tradition..but it was fun...we laughed, ate, and enjoyed one another's company.

6 months along and christmas season

The picture of the bride and groom ornament was bought our first year we were married. We put it up together every year on the tree to symbolize partnership and unity.

The picture of the three stockings...the red one is mine, the middle one is precious baby sidell's, and the sports one is Jason. It's the first of many years the baby will have a stocking.

The picture of me in the white shirt is at 6 months along in front of our Christmas tree.

Too Hard

It's so hard for me when I see my immediate family go through a difficult time. I seem to personalize all that they go through. I carry the burden that they feel and put it upon myself. I pray that God will meet them directly, guide them, give them a hope, and reassure them of his presence and working hand upon their lives. I know money and riches wouldn't hurt either, but ultimately to know God and see him working in their lives and changing difficult situations into positive would be even more of a blessing.

I want to be

I hope when my baby comes I can still be a kid. I had a little girl over the other day to help make some Christmas cookies. She is one of my students. We had such a fun time. When we heard Jason come home, we hid in the closet and yelled surprise. It was great...she was giggling the whole time. I hope I can be a fun mom!

This picture was taken over Thanksgiving break.

Janna looks really small in the picture.....I look like a big head and smile! Yikes...bethany was sweet enough to write a comment on facebook asking what would I do if my child looked like me in this picture....

Quick update

I had my OB appointment yesterday. The babies heart rate is still at 152. I measure around 23-24 weeks. I have gained a total of 20 pounds (yikes). Next time I go I get that diabetes test. Then after that I am going every 2 weeks. Crazy! I am so thankful for a normal appointment with no complications.

A friend came to my classroom yesterday and told me she was pregnant. I was so happy for her. Now four more friends....need that same blessing!

I am rereading a very good book right now. When I Lay My Issac Down. I will have to write some excerpts from it sometime.

so here it is...

I went to the dr. on Sunday morning. I have carpal tunnel syndrome, it can come and go during pregnancy. The babies heart rate measured at 152...it's been pretty consist ant between 148-152. On Sunday, the doctor said I have a UTI infection.....ugh...never would have known it if I didn't go in for the swelling.

I go back to the doctor tonight (in this lovely weather). It's just a check up....and hopefully will get a good report.

I have made two kinds of Christmas cookies....snowballs and pecan tassies. I want to make maybe two more kinds...we'll see how I am feeling. I was in bed by 7:30 last night and lights off by 8:00...making cookies and working a full day made me REALLY tired.

What in the world???

It's 3:45 in the morning and I woke up to my fingers being doubled in size (they have recently been somewhat swollen to begin with). It felt like a rubberband was too tight around my wrist and was cutting off my circulation to my fingers. My hands looked like an overweight person's fingers-when you can't see their knuckles. It freaked me out! I have never seen my fingers and hand be so swollen. It could be high sodium. It could be because when I woke up my hand was above my head. My fear is that it is high blood pressure. I was so scared I almost called the OB on call. I decided to run downstairs and drink two bottles of water. I moved my hand around adn it's gotten better. I have a docotor's appointment on Tuesday night, but I might go to immediate care in the morning when it opens.

It's so scary. I had heard months 6-9 or harder to be pregnant in and you get more uncomfortable. I can say that is starting to be true here. My back hurts more and my feet and hands are swollen, I get out of breath alot easier, and I even got dizzy during church on Thanksgiving and had to leave service.

This past week, I have been up every night in the middle of the night for an hour. The baby wasn't active this week and I was a bit concerned. I laid in the bed praying for an hour that the baby would give me just one kick to let me know it's alive. It would. What a comfort in a kick. People say oh, just wait. It will be kicking all the time! Last night the baby kicked quite a bit. Jason was able to feel it twice! He had the BIGGESTS grin on his face when he felt the baby move. His mom was able to feel it move over Thankgiving...so she had her first introduction with the precious baby in my belly.

I need to make some Christmas cookies. The thought of being on my feet again just doesn't seem appealing. I know I can bring the ingrediants and utencils to me and make them at the table. But then I have to get up, wash the untencils and be up and down to put the cookies and them out of the oven. I love to bake, but just doesn't seem to appealing right now.

What in the world????? Why do I have so much to say at 3:45 in the morning?

I am going to go back upstairs and hold Jason's hand untill I fall asleep. I tend to do that. WHen I can't sleep, I will hold his hand. He says he likes it when I hold his hand during the night. He doesn't know I am doing it, but he says he likes it!

Good Night!

I hope and pray

I know at least 4 people who are trying to get pregnant (and have been trying for sometime now)...I hope and pray that God will bless them very soon with their desires.

Begin and End

Well, we started on Wednesday to turn out loft into a third bedroom. My dad has worked so hard to have it done by Friday which is amazing! It looks great! We will soon begin to clean out our closets and cabinets for the baby. I think we are taking our house off the market and are planning on staying here for another year. We feel even in this hard market, if God wanted us to move then he would have sold our home. God is in control....I don 't say that lightly, I believe it with all my heart.

I think I have picked out my bedding and crib for the baby. I keep going back and forth, but this one I am leaning towards. I like the colors for the nursery. I don't want light blues or yellows or sage. I feel like everyone does that when they don't know the sex of their baby. I love the colors of green and brown! We'll see if I change my mind anytime soon.

Bethany has been wonderful in allowing me to have some of her baby stuff. I keep telling her no more though! We already are tight on space so we can't take too much more from her.

Meg my sister in law said that I can borrow her pump, I just have to order the cover for them. What a blessing!

So much more to write and update about, maybe I will do it later.

This picture was taken last year when Jason played Santa and I played his little Elf, we did it for the kiddies!

How awesome!

Yesterday I was at my mom and dad's house. We had just finished going bridesmaid dress shopping (which Janna finally decided on one), and I was laying on the couch resting. As I was laying there, I felt the baby move. I grabbed my mom's hand and she put it on my belly. She screamed and got so excited when she felt the baby move and she introduced herself to the precious baby as MIMI. My mom is so excited for another grandchild...you would almost think it was her first! After my mom felt the baby move, Janna had to too. She felt the baby move and kept wanting me to make it move for her over and over. It was such a sweet moment. I felt like the precious baby was saying hi to their grandma and aunt for the first time.

Later that evening, Jason and I were at home resting in bed and I felt the baby move again. It was a little more of harder kick than what it had been for my mom and Janna. I grabbed Jason's had and he felt the baby three times. Jason talked to the baby and gave it a high five back.

I loved seeing the interaction of the baby with those it will be meeting in the next few months. It was so meaningful to me.

*I gained five inches in my chest since I became pregnant (hopefully I won't gain too much more)and I had another dream I had a boy.

THANKS

I am so thankful for the Lord's faithfulness, provision, protection, and for the blessings he has given me.

I love this song by Shane and Shane:
When I think about the Lord how he saved me
how he raised me how he filled me with the holy ghost
how he healed me to the uttermost.
When I think about the Lord makes me wanna shout...

hallelujah thank you Jesus Lord your worthy of all the glory and all the honor and all of praise....

What Kind?

We had our first session for parenting last night. Wow! Hugh....good, but wow! We were guided to come up with a mission statement of how Jason and I want to be as parents. We said something like the following in simpler terms:
1) To reflect God's love
2) To build confidence in our child

In all we do and all we say whether it's to our child or to one another Jason and I need to make sure that those things are reflecting God's love and building confidence in them.

We are going to try to go through 10 sessions on how to be a better parent, and also to make sure we agree on parenting styles. We know there is no manual and we know you do best when you are actually in the situation. We also know that we need to make sure we are on the same page with expectations, discipline, communication, exec. I am excited to go through these sessions, yet I realize wow, what a responsibility!

Someone

Someone told me that the ultrasound picture didn't show up...here is a repost

update

This picture on the left was taken this past weekend when Jason and I went to Alabama to visit my aunt and uncle. They have a beautiful home in the mountains that was so peaceful. This picture to the right is the baby at five months old. The doctor said the baby looks healthy and he didn't see my hemorrhage anywhere. The baby had held up the peace sign when we saw it. It also had it's hands resting under it's chin. We didn't find the sex of the baby out. We are just so excited about the good report that we received. Thank you everyone for your prayers!

This was my best friends wedding. My mom, dad, Bethany, and I had to have Jason take our picture five different times because my dad always had a silly face. Jason and I had a great time. I was five months in this picture! Not the dress to be wearing at five months, but the wedding was a blast! Jason did a great job in picking out a tie to match my dress.

An Imprtant Day

Today is my 20 week appointment! We get to see the precious baby in my belly again. I feel as though it has been forever since I was able to see the little one, it's been about a month. I went to the doctor yesterday and they said that the baby's heartbeat is 148-150. I measured at 20 weeks, and my uterus is where it should be. It was a great appointmet, except for the fact that I gained 9 pounds in a month. Oh my gosh! How insane is that....oh well when I am hungry I eat whatever I want. ..... that would explain the 9 pound gain.

Today at my appointment they will be looking at the internal organs of the baby, the placenta, and to see if my hehomorage is gone. Please pray that the Lord would let all those things look "healthy and wonderful"

One more prayer request for the rest of my pregnancy is about the dr. that delivers my baby. I had a not fun experience a month ago with a dr. and I don't want that dr. to deliver my child. My normal dr told me yesterday that there is no control over that. Whoever delivers the baby I have no control over. So Jason and I are praying that the Lord will put whoever needs to deliver my baby with me on that day. That he would handpick someone for me that I would need who is gentle, kind, compassionate, and understanding, and then whoever the baby would need to have a safe delivery ....I am trusting the Lord to be faithful.

I haved some pics to post...not many of a wedding and two of my weekend in AL/MISS. I will post those with the results of the ultrasound.

We are off

Tomorrow night Jason and I leave to go to Alabama. We are going to visit my aunt, uncle, and cousin. We are going to go to a Mississippi and Alabama football game. Jason is so excited about that. Jason and I have not been away since July! We are so excited. I am little nervous to fly though. I have been breathing heavy and kind of like getting out of breath so I hope it's not hard being on an airplane with limited oxygen.

I have a question:
When do you use me and I. For example....would you say Jason and me or Jason and I? I am getting a bit confused. In school I learned it should be Jason and I, but lately I have noticed people doing Jason and me.

Hmmm anyone?

Showing

Okay so Jason and I decided that if our house didn't sell by Dec. 1st we were taking it off the market. We had two showings yesterday and one today. We are so curious if we will be moving in a month or adding a third bedroom to our home and moving in baby stuff in a month. Hmmmm........

Also...I was getting ready yesterday and I thought of something that I found so neat. I thought that Jesus is the ONLY person right now who knows that my baby is a boy or a girl. I found that so comforting. Then I thought just like he is the only one that knows if my baby is a boy or a girl, he is also the only one that knows if we will sell our home or not, he is the only one that knows how my delivery will go, and he is the only one that knows what day the baby will be born on. Hmmmm........ even though I don't know alot of the outcomes of the next 6 months, the person who does is the one who has my best interest in mind and the only person who I would want to control the future for me.

Papa Elton

My Papa called last week and told Jason and I that "We want to buy the baby's crib" I was so touched by that. We meaning Nana, who has passed and then my Papa who is still living. I love how my Papa is sentimental about big miles stones and wants us grandchildren to never forget Nana or himself. Papa has instilled great values for us kids and has left fingerprints of himself and the Lord upon our lives. He has been a great example of how a man should treat his wife with serving in unconditional love. Papa was not only a grandpa, he was a coach, and one of our biggest fans when we played sports. I can't wait for my little baby to meet Papa!

VOTE FOR PEDRO....I MEAN JASON~

MY SILLY HUSBAND DECIDED TO TRY A MUSTACHE......TRY IS THE KEY WORD. HE KEPT IT FOR A FEW HOURS AND WE HAD SOME GREAT LAUGHS.

Gina, Samantha, and Janna You are Tagged!

I was blog tagged by Judith to write 7 unknown facts about myself that most readers don't know about me. I don't have many blogger friends to tag...so I tag these people if you read this blog: Gina, Samantha, and Janna. I know others read the blog, but don't have one of their own....people get a blog.

1) I want to start a buisness called Friend For A Day and be a friend to all the lonely people in the world.

2) I love olives

3) I love talking with older women

4) I had my eye on Jason even before we ever met

5) I love snowstorms when I know no one can leave their house (that means everyone is safe)

6) I do not want to live in a huge house

7) Growing up I wanted to be a Pastor's wife, a radio DJ, a chef, and a hair dresser.

Loving it

I loved yesterday. My roomate came into town and we had a great time. When we got back home, Jason and I blew up our mattress bed by the TV and just laid there together watching football and baseball. It was so relaxing and peaceful! I love those moments with my husband. I felt like we were two teenagers in love and hanging out again. He turned to me towards the end of the evening and said, "Isn't it so neat how I am married to you. I sometimes look at you just think...your my wife" I admit I was laying there earlier thinking the same thing. This is my husband...the man I depend on, go to for advice, vent to, and share my deep thoughts with. He is with me forever....and then of course my mind went to....he is the father of the child that is in me right now."

On Saturday, we celebrated sweetest day together. My roomate was in town, so him and I got up at 6:15 and laid in bed adn talked till about 7:00. We talked about the sweetest thing about eachtother and I can't remember what he said to me, but I told him the sweetest thing about him is how he is as a father already. He is so helpful around the house and with running arrands that he is not only doing for me, but also the baby in my belly. He is already being a dad to the child that will soon be born.

Yesterday I wasn't feeling well, I had been sleeping and woke up and the laundry timer sounded to show it was done. I went upstairs to start to fold the laundry and he said your not feeling well go downstairs and I am going to do the rest of the laundry. It kind of turned into an arguement becuase we both knew we both were tired and not feeling the best and both wanted to help the other one out.

I am so grateful for where the Lord has brought us. God is so faithful and so good. How can I leave room for doubt for God to be faithful to my child, the future of our family, the selling of our home, the health and protection of those we love?

When my mind wonders and I begin to worry about my future, all I have to do is look at my life and its' history and see God's faithfulness and it will renew my hope for what is to come!

Four Months and Popped Out!

I had a dream on October 17th that I had a baby boy. I dreamed that he had my color hair and blue eyes. We took him home and I tried to feed him and he didn't eat much at all. He wore a blue tight hat on his head and I remember thinking the shape of his head is beautiful. Jason then told me I had to have a c-section. I remember being tired and crying alot because I was in so much pain and couldn't hold the baby. Hmmmm I wonder if any part of this dream will come true????!!!

World War 3

President Bush talked about Iran and the possibly of World War 3 today. There are 2 options
1) Living through a world war and I can't imagine that
2) Jesus coming back...which am I ready for...yes, but still have things that I want to accomplish here on earth.

When I think of Heaven it overwhelms me. When I think of how long eternity is it hurts my head. When I think of being in Heaven and not kissing my husband and having him hold me, it hurts me. When I think of how we will worship Jesus and see him face to face it is unfathamable.

Is it okay to have mixed emotions about Heaven?

Pumpkin Farm. October 13, 2007. I really wanted Jason in front of the turkey because his birthday is by Thanksgiving!

Pumpkin Farm. October 13, 2007. I am four months pregnant with our "little pumpkin"

Pumpkin Farm

On Saturday, Jason and I went to the pumpkin farm. I couldn't help but savor every moment we had together when we were there. We walked around and went into the sweet shop, bought a 1/2 gallon of fresh apple cider, ate a funnel cake together, and talked about the future. It was so fun to see all the little kids there with their parents. To see their eyes light up when on the ponies, or feeding the goats, even when they were going on the rides. I loved seeing a couple of one year olds go by the huge pumpkins and say "ball....ball" and then tried to pick the over sized pumpkin up. It was a great time for us. We realize that this was our last year together at the pumpkin farm and now next year when we return it will be with a 7 month old baby. And for that baby it will begin a tradition just like the one I had. Going to the pumpkin farm with the family, eating, going on rides, petting the animals, and picking out the best pumpkin ever! I am so thankful for a family that has traditions....fun traditions that I can now instill in my soon to be family...and I can't wait for traditions that Jason and I create that our just ours!

Yes or No?

Okay I am so confused. I thought on Wednesday night when I was laying down I felt the baby move. Then in Chapel on Friday, I thought I felt it move again . It didn't feel like a butterfly or a flutter, it felt like a tap three times. A very gentle easy light tap. My friend Cheryl at work said it probably was the baby . Did I or didn't I feel the baby move?

Next Four Weeks

Oh my busyness:

Oct. 19th-21st my roommate is coming in
Oct. 24th- meeting with some parents after school
Oct. 25th- start parent teacher conferences
Oct. 26th-Pumpkin Day at school (crazy busy day)
Oct. 26th-28th- Pekin for Jason's dad's birthday and spend time with his family
Oct. 29-Oct. 31st- More Parent Teacher conferences
Nov. 2nd-4th- Brenda's wedding rehearsal, wedding, and small group
Nov. 8th-Nov. 11th- Flying to AL to see a football game and the Orcutts
Nov. 12th- Dr. appointment
Nov. 13th- Hospital to get my ultrasound
Nov. 21-25th- Thanksgiving holiday festivities.

Oh my....that is just what is planned ahead of time. Man...life is busy, but I do know that I will hopefully have unforeseen rest in there.

I guess time flies when you are busy!

So mad!

Honestly if you are a Doctor shouldn't you have in mind that you should be giving your patients the time of day! I didn't have my normal OB doctor today, I had another man. I didn't like him at all and he didn't give me a chance to ask any questions. Don't go into a field where you are going to rush people and not give them the time they need to walk away feeling like they understand more than what they came in knowing.

I called Jason really upset after that appointment, and he called the Dr. office and complained. The operator there offered to call the doctor I met with and have him call me back, but he had "already" left the office.....does that prove that he was in a rush or what? I ended up telling the operator lady that I didn't like that doctor and do not want to call him so she said she will have my normal doctor call me tomorrow. Ugh...just totally frustrating for me!

The latest news is that the heartbeat was at 140 and I gained two pounds in 3 weeks. The total of 3 min. the doctor was in the room with me, he felt my uterus and it is growing as it should be. I go back in a month to see the Dr and around that same time will have another ultrasound.

I am praying that the next time I go in for the ultrasound, the baby looks okay and there is no
hemorrhaging.

Just one of those days

So I think I have been really good with my hormones...I have my moments, but today it was a morning of hormones. I just cried for one reason.....I am sad that when the baby comes it won't be just Jason and me. So I cried when getting ready for church and then when at church on the way in I cried....Jason hugged me and asked if I wanted to leave and come back for second service and for him and I to go do something together. I ended up composing myself and being fine in church.

When church ended we went to breakfast, stopped by my parents (I had to go potty bad), and then went shopping and driving to look at houses. Jason helped me pick out my first two pair of maternity pants. A black pair from motherhood and a pair of jeans from gap. We had a great day together and I savored every moment not wanting it to end.

I am thankful my husband wants to spend time with me and was willing to give up his baseball and football games so we can enjoy one anothers company. In less than six months it will be the three of us...right now I am going to hog him all I can!

My First Pregnancy Picture at abut 3 months

I really do know her

I HAD to go to a teacher conference on Thursday. It is a super long day of sitting and listening to lecture after lecture. My friend Cheryl and I (we stuck together all day and she got us lost on the way home too :) )decided to go to a lecture that was titled "Discovering your personality to help serve others"

We took a personality test and my personality was labeled as Steadiness. Basically it described me almost to a t.

It said I am loyal, I am driven by relationships, I do whatever it takes to keep harmony, I do not like change, I do not like conflict.

Things I need to improve on is: more assertive, be less sensitive, be more positive towards change, appreciate other's ideas...and there was so much more to it.

I didn't really learn anything about myself that was new...the exciting thing is that I saw that I really knew who Sharon was.

I guess I had worried that I would have a baby and not know who I was as person, sitting in that lecture showed me...I know who I am, and I like who I am, Yet I need to improve who I am too.

A common theme

There is a common theme I am seeing in alot of my friend's lives right now and that is Life isn't fair." What do you do when life isn't fair? There has to be a comfort in knowing that God sees the bigger picture. Sometimes things happen beyond our control and we can't help what the outcome is. I guess I find peace in knowing that Jesus knew exactly the situation that was going to unfold...it wasn't a surprise to him. I like the verse in Colossians where it says He is before all things and in Him all things hold together.

I pray for those I know going through something where life isn't fair right now. That God would show them his love and grace through this time. That he would put a peace in their hearts to know that he has the outcome under control. I pray that these people would try not to understand the situation, but trust Christ's sovereignty.

It's so hard

Jason and I read a Psalm and Proverb for each week of Pregnancy we are in. Last week we were in our 13th week, so we read from Proverbs 13. I sometimes think about how it will be hard to discipline my child. There will be times where I don't want to give a consequence but I know that I have to. I read this verse, and I hope I can remember it when my child gets to the age of needing to learn right and wrong:

Proverbs 13: 24
If you refuse to discipline your son, it proves you don't love him; for if you love him you will be prompt to punish him.

IT MIGHT PAY OFF TO BE A FAN

Chicago Cubs!

THIS IS WHEN I LOVE HAVING A CUBS LICENCE PLATE.

Random thoughts

I went and bought a pumpkin pie and ate 3/4 of it all by myself in a day and a half.....I am giving my last piece of pie to a friend at work.

We had another showing on our house...still no news. We have had about 4 or 5 showings in the last couple weeks, but no offers. I am getting nervous. I want to move soon so that I can help pack and unpack.

Jason is so confident that God has it all under control. He knows the house we need to move in, knows the neighbors we need to have, knows the school the children will need to be in, knows the offer we need on this current house...he's just so confident. I wish I could be more like that, but right now I am more anxious than confident.

My sister called today and told me a plan for all that i need to do for the baby according to what month I am in. She mentioned registering and going to check out the hospital we will deliver at. Wow...to me that is serious stuff.

I ordered Fit Pregnancy Magazine I could work out while pregnant, unfortunately I can't. But seeing all the little babies in there just can't wait to hold my own. I already love babies and kids, and to be able to have my own that is from me own body and DNA and Jason's is amazing.

My face is getting worse. I feel like I wouldn't mind how I look at 14 weeks pregnant, but my face is just NASTY!

It's crazy during the school day having other students that are not mine, come up and ask if I am pregnant or as the younger kids ask "is there a baby in your belly?" I love having to say yes!

I can't help but constantly think through out my day what a true honor it is that the Lord has blessed me with a child. I know as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I dropped to the ground, cried, and thanked the Lord for choosing us to parent this life!

Once again, Lord, thank you for this gift of life in me. May I trust you as I worry and think about my fears of loosing this child during pregnancy or the baby having health issues. Let me trust be louder than my fears!

I am totally reading into it

Today the dad that had that dream about me having a baby had his son bring me roses. His son cut his head open during recess and I went and sat with the little boy untill his dad came. I got a thank you card for sitting with him and PINK roses. So I am wondering...did you pick pink out because in the dream you had of me having a baby, you dreamt it was a girl.

He also gave the nurse roses for taking care of him...they were peach roses....

I can't help but have my mind wonder.....is there a hidden meaning behind the pink roses.

I think I am totally reading way too far into it!

Dream

Yesterday when I told my class I was pregnant, there was this little boy who was so excited. I thought more excited than I would ever have thought a little boy could be for a teacher telling him she was pregnant. This morning at school his dad came up to me and shook my hand he said, " Mrs. Sidell on behalf of our family I would like to congratulate you on your pregnancy. I had a dream at the beginning of school that you were pregnant and had a baby." I told him that his son was so happy and he said that when his son came out of school he was waving the paper and telling him dad look you were right! I thought that was so neat! I was so blessed and touched by the dad sharing that with me.

Telling the class

Today was so much fun! I decided the way that I would tell my class that I was pregnant was by doing a game of hangman. They were so excited when they solved the puzzle. They solved it and just kind of didn't say much, and then I told them that I was having a baby in March. After that, I got many questions like: Will you bring the baby in after it's born? Can I hold the baby? Will you come back and teach us? Then this one little girl said...."Can my mom and I go shopping for you and buy you maternity clothes?" How funny is that??!! She was just so excited.

Side note....the dr. called and said I am still hemorrhaging in my uterus. Please pray that the hemorrhage resolves. They said they are going to monitor it.

My Big Fat Italian Wedding

Okay so last night we went to a wedding for my cousin. Honestly, you would think that my side of the family were the only ones there. We just had fun in the way we know how. Cheering, whistling, and dancing. I think there were about 30 of us from my side of the family. We had the best time! I love when my family doesn't have to worry about putting on a show, or worry about being proper, and just lets their hair down and is themselves!
I think the funniest part of the wedding was towards the end. My grandma loves to dance! She really can move and grove. She asked me if I would dance, and I said I was too tired to tonight. So I pulled her aside and told her to ask Jason to dance. She was so excited...she asked Okay, what kind of song, fast, slow? She was really looking forward to dancing with him. I told her a fast song, that Jason is good at dancing on fast ones. So as soon as a fast song came, grandma Bea danced her little body and grabbed Jason on the dance floor. Oh I was laughing so hard! I went and sat by all my cousins (8 or 9 of us) we were watching Jason and grandma dance. She was going to town!!!! All of a sudden I look and I see Jason standing there looking all around. Grandma was shaking her grove thing and started dancing everywhere else on the dance floor but next to Jason. Jason was looking right to left and couldn't find grandma. He then found me and came and sat by me and said....your grandma left me on the dance floor. Grandma can't control herself when there is music on....she's gotta shake her grove thing...if if that means she leaves her dancing partner standing there. Oh I was just laughing so hard! My husband is such a good sport! He danced so well and was out there without me...he is the bestest!

This was the first time grandparents and aunts and extended cousins saw me since we have been pregnant. Lots of belly touching, hugs, and congrats! Again, it is a realization that we are really having a baby in 6 months!

Time

I hate when you look forward to something it seems time goes by really slow. I feel like November, when I can feel the baby move will never get here!

How much time are you suppose to arrive before your dr. appointment?

When is it the right time to go register for your baby?

How much time should you allow yourself to cool off after an argument?

Is there such a thing as spending too much time with your husband?

How many times will people change their mind in thinking what the sex of my baby is?

Will there ever be a time when the Cubs win the world series?

T = Totally looking forward to something
I= I can't take my eyes off of the clock
M=Makes me so anxious
E=Every time I look forward to the time of something I miss out on the here and now!

It's in there

Yesterday I had my appointment for my ultrasound. I told Jason the night before that he didn't need to go with me. So I got the my dr. went into the room right away. With in a matter of minutes, I saw my precious baby in my belly. I was so excited. It was wiggling around, squirming, kicking it's legs and waving it's hands. I couldn't believe that life was moving in me. I just wanted to watch the baby for hours. I was sad when she took the device off me. I didn't want to leave the baby. I was disappointed because I had told Jason he didn't need to come to the ultrasound. I think he would have loved to have seen the little precious baby move...the pregnancy would have become so much more real to him.

The heartbeat measured at 163. Every time I call and tell Bethany something about the baby, she always changes what she thinks the sex is. It's so funny!

When Jason got home, I showed him the new images of the precious baby in my belly. I had put the first ultrasound picture we had in August at the top of the stack. The first one of the baby looked like a lima bean. So Jason looked at the picture and said it didn't change much. Then he shuffled to the next picture and a huge smile came on his face. I hit him in excitement and said, "Look that's our baby!" He was kind of quiet and studied the pictures. I asked what he was thinking, and he said...we created this life...how weird. We both were so excited about the growth of that little one

For me this appointment made me so excited and anxious. At every appointment I have been at I think we are at like 6 or something. But every one I have been at, there has always been a but in it. I see the baby but....the heartbeat is low. So today for the first time there was no buts about it!

I went to my mom and dads house and showed them and Janna the picture of the baby. My mom said that she thinks she saw a pee pee...meaning it's a boy! My dad looked at it and said...so that's my little granddaughter there. Janna was just in awe that the baby was in me like that.

Well now we are waiting to hear from the dr. with details about the baby. The technician couldn't read the ultrasound in depth. Hopefully I will hear from my doctor early this morning so I could send home a note to parents and students telling them of this awesome gift the Lord has blessed Jason and I with.

Lord, you are amazing. Seeing that life in me today was incredible. I don't know why you choose to bless Jason and I so quickly with a precious life. I thank you for your generosity and love towards us. As I sat this morning laying in bed a verse came into my mind
Every good and perfect gift comes from above!

Lord this baby you have given me is perfect and I know this life is yours first! Ugh I can't wait to see this baby...I AM SO EXCITED!!!

Chicago Cubs

Ugh...what do you do? Believe they will win their division and be totally shocked, or don't have any expectations and not be disappointed because they always let you down?

It hit me

It hit me today how kids are so in tune with things at such a young age.

It was picture day today and one little girl didn't want to come in class because she was wearing a dress. She said that people were going to stare at her and make fun of her. She was crying and I went in the hallway and talked with her. I told her I would walk in class with her. I put out my hand so we can walk into class together, but with tears streaming down her face she refused.

***** It hit me that at the age of 8 this little girl was so self conscious about what others think of her.

Then there was this boy standing outside and he looks at me and says "Mrs. Sidell, Why is it all dry around your face?"

He was pointing out the pimples and dryness on my face because of my pregnancy. I couldn't tell him it was because I was pregnant, I just told him : "I don't know why, it just started happening. It has never been like this before."

I was already self conscious about my face, and it proves that other people see it too. Kids...they notice so many things that I never would think they would care about or think twice about.

Simple Prayer

Lord help my unbelief.

Fishing in the laundry room

Yesterday, we got home from church and of course I was hungry. Jason started the grill and then decided he was going to do a load of laundry. He gathered all the whites and threw them in hot water and started the load. I went upstairs to change into my Bears jersey for the game and realized that he had my new white shirt that fits perfectly in a pool of hot water. Which you all know equals shrinking of my new shirt. So he and I went into the laundry room and were sifting through the very hot water to find that white shirt of mine. Our little fingers got so hot, we had to make a fishing pole out of a hanger and fish out my white shirt. We pulled up boxers, socks, t-shirts, tank tops, and then........finally, after about three minutes we found my white shirt, hung it up to be washed again later. We laughed...who would have thunk we would be fishing in our own laundry machine.

Craziness

I am a bit worried. As I looked at the next several months the rest of Sept-November, Jason and I are so stinking busy. Soon after November then comes Christmas time, which is always a busy time of year. It's scary to me. Normally I wouldn't mind being so busy. I would just think of it as something to look forward to during my work week. However, now that we are expecting in March, I have some new thoughts towards being busy. You know how it is.....when you are so busy, time flies by. I looked at Jason yesterday in the car, and I said, "honey, we are going to be so busy the next couple months and before you know it we will be in our last trimester for the baby." He looked at me and said, "yes....it is going to come quickly!" As he said that, my heart sunk. I LOVE time with my husband. I never can get enough of it. It's so scary to me that someday soon his time and attention it going to be focused on another human being. I am grateful that my parents live near by and my sister Janna will be moving back towards home in May. I know we could always have my family sit for the precious baby in my belly. But driving on the way home, having it just him and I in the car, snuggled up to his big shoulders....I just thought...this time of you and I is going to quickly end...and then a tear came into my eyes. Hormones....maybe? Reality....maybe? Whatever it was, I want to savor each evening we have of relaxing at home of watching the Cubs together and having no responsibility or int eruptions but him and I and enjoying our time together.

What are you doing???

Lord, what are you doing?
The ups and downs of my pregnancy are so hard
It has been so challenging for me to enjoy this life that you have planted in me.
I want to rejoice with the baby you have entrusted to Jason and I.
How do I do that Lord when there are so many uncertainties and complications with my pregnancy?

11 3/7 week

Jason and I went to our appointment this week and we are 11 3/7 week. I was bummed I am not 12 weeks. I just want to make it to the 12 week mark. The nurse measured the babies heart rate at 148. It was 150 on Aug. 13th and I asked the dr. if it's okay that the heart rate went down and he said they prefer it to go up and down. The dr. also ordered another ultrasound on September 26th. Because of our history of complications, my continual back pain, and my little spotting I have had recently he wants to check on the baby in two weeks. It's after the 26th that if everything is okay, we will then tell the parents at my school and I will post a bulletin.

The poor dr. I had. I had a list of questions I needed answered. He told me to take these otc pills to help go potty, he then suggested purpose soap for my face, and still said no exercise or intimacy for me.

After my appointment, I was so hungry. Jason and I went to Rock Bottom and I ate my plate CLEAN. All that was left on it was an edge piece of lettuce. I had a big cheeseburger with fries. Oh my was it sooooooo goood! I can't remember the last time I had a cheeseburger. Ugh..yummy! I think the baby really enjoyed it too.....I think it will want another one next week.

My Big Sister

She was always older and taller
and sometimes tried to be a baller

She would leave me in a middle of a game
and she often would yell at me when I would look at her and want to dress the same

We would pull eachother hair and fight
and she would make fun of me cause I had to sleep with the light

We would talk spanish in bed
I couldn't hang out with her friends she said

Now we are best friends
and maternity clothes she freely lends

She make fun of me for writing a poem
but her and I will always be welcomed at one anothers home

She is one I confide in
and when I am down I can count on her to give me a grin

I bet she will add to this little diddy
and think she is so funny adn giddy

Oh Bethany she is older than me
but sisters and best friends we will always be.

What does this mean:

Seek ye first.
Seek Jesus Himself.

So when I pray and ask for peace, wisdom, compassion, and holiness, is that part of seeking him?

Why does it seem when I pray it's for certain things?

Can't it just be seeking the face and heart of God? What would that look like or sound like? How would my prayers have to change?

In Oswald Chambers Book, but quote by F. Brook:
My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace; nor even blessing, but Himself, my God.

A poem

Little precious baby in my belly
You live a womb that is round and squishy like jelly

You cause my face to have many zits
you make me smell, that is my pits

My chest has been growing
people say my face is glowing

I love you so much already
and so does your proud daddy

You are only three months old
and soon you will be born when it is cold

Mommy thinks you are a precious gift
and she hopes her pregnancy goes by really swift

Each day we pray for you
and can't wait to hold you and see you coo

He knew it

God knew it all along. It's no secret that Jason and I had a really tough beginning to our marriage. Our trial lasted a year and a half. There were plenty of days I wanted to give up and just end it. I am now writing in amazement as to how wonderful my marriage is and how grateful I am that the Lord didn't allow Jason and I to give up.

Jason has been such a wonderful husband during my pregnancy. Ever since we found out, to having all the ultrasounds and the fear of miscarriage, he has been so supportive. He has cleaned, done laundry, and grocery shopped for me. On top of all that he has gassed up my car and got my oil changed. He has not done this only once, but several times. He is making sure I am resting, and always checking what I am eating. When we go to bed we give one another a kiss good night, and he says "I love you, I love the two of you" I can't wait to see Jason hold our precious little baby in my belly in 29 weeks. He will be a great dad!

Thank you Lord that when I questioned and doubted you, you knew it all, you knew all that we would endure and you knew that you would carry us through. You knew Lord that I would need a supportive husband during my pregnancy and you allowed it to be Jason. I am so grateful for you seeing the end in sight when I didn't! I thank you Lord that you gave me strength during the hard times and your grace helped me to hang on to your promises. Thank you Lord for blessing me far more than I could ask or imagine! (ephes. 3:19-20)

I think it's soon!

Here I am sitting at work. I have to talk to parents tonight about my classroom. I don't like talking in front of adults, but sometimes we have to leave our comfort zone. I was doing something for school today and saw that we are 1/4 through our first quarter already. I have mixed emotions. I am sad to know the year for me is slowly leaving. Something really cute happended today in class. During Bible we were talking about Mary and Joseph in class and how Mary and Jospeh lost Jesus while they were traveling. They were traveling for a day and saw that Jesus was missing. They didn't worry too much because they thought he was with friends or relatives. So I asked my kids would they be concerned if they had a child and they were lost and they couldn't find them? And this little boy raises his hand and says, "Wait, didn't you say someday you wanted a child?" I said yes hopefully someday soon. Then this little girl says ," Mrs. Sidell, I think it's going to be really soon for you." How sweet were these kids. I Can't wait to tell them about the precious baby in my belly!

Everyone Knows

Well, pretty much everyone at works now knows we are expecting. I was thinking yes it is exciting for people at work to know, but I enjoyed them not knowing. I just felt like for so long it was just me and the baby and so close and connected and no one else knew there was life in me. I loved that secret that I had. I would just touch my belly during meetings at the beginning of school and think ahhhh I know your there, but the people in this room don't. Oh well...by looking at my chest, face, and belly, there is no hiding it now!

Tradition

With being pregnant, I am becoming more and more about creating unity and tradition in my family. Jason and I went out to breakfast yesterday and I began to think about how my sisters and I would do date with dad. So I thought what could Jason do with our child once a weekend. We talked about it and though maybe Jason and our child could go get doughnuts once a week together. I thought that sounded good. It is so important to Jason and I that he has one on one quality time with our child. That they build a bond early that will connect them and open doors of communication. I can't wait to think of new holiday traditions to have with our little one too! Ahhh the fun has just started....the baby better love traditions.

Time

So today I spent some time in prayer. I had so many people to pray for I felt like I just kept going. So many people in need of God to move and answer a prayer in their life. After I prayed, I was reading Oswald Chambers complete works...here is a few things I read:

The purpose of prayer is to reveal the presance of God.

We generally look upon prayer as means of getting things for ourselves, whereas the Bible's idea of prayer is that God's holiness and God's purose and God's wise order be brought about.

There are times when we pray that things remain the same, but you begin to be different.

What is the limit?

Okay how many times a day can you blog without being a nerd? Are there any rules that I need to know about blogging before I really get into it?

5th grade

Ever since I had Mrs. Timson in fifth grade I have journaled. Being the pack rat that I am, I still have those journals from fifth grade. For those of you who really know me, that's not hard to imagine. I journaled from when I was in Jr. High (which my mom found some entries and wasn't too pleased) through college. Now that I am going to be a mommy, I thought that this is another great opportunity for me to get in the habit of journaling again. The best part of journaling on here, is that it won't take up space in my closet, so it doesn't make me a pack rat!

Gosh, so many things on my mind as I start to blog. I guess I will keep it sweet and simple. There will be some major life changes in the next 7 months and we can't wait!

One question I have....does the precious baby in my belly love me already and love me as much as I love it without having met me?

Testing...

This is your first post. Do you like your colors? Do you like the layout? You can add info under the "edit" section. What do you think? You can also go under "template" and choose another form if you don't like this one. Also, you can fool around with the color scheme too. Did you have fun at the outlet mall? Now I will write like I am you.

My name is Sharon. My sister has begged me to start up a "Blogspot" for some time now. There are some exciting things happening in our lives, and I'd like to keep a log of all of the adventures and changes that will be taking place. I love my husband, Jason. He watches Food Network with me, lets me go to the outlet malls 10x a week, and takes care of me when I'm sick.